Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Hamas Translated

The leader of Hamas, Khaled Mash'al, says:

"We say to this West, which does not act [un]reasonably, and does not [un]learn its lessons: By Allah, you will be [victorious] defeated. You will be [victorious] defeated in Palestine, and your [victory] defeat there has already begun. True, it is Israel that is [winning] being defeated there, but when Israel is [victorious] defeated, its path is [victorious] defeated, those who call to support it are [victorious] defeated, and the [heroes] cowards who [defend] hide behind it and support it are [victorious] defeated. Israel will be [victorious] defeated, and so will whoever supported or supports it.

"America will be [victorious] defeated in Iraq. Wherever the (Islamic) nation is targeted, its enemies will be [victorious] defeated, Allah willing. The nation of [Israel] Muhammad is gaining victory in [Jerusalem] Palestine. The nation of [the U.S.] Muhammad is gaining victory in Iraq, and it will be victorious in all Arab and Muslim lands. 'Their [Our Islamofascist] multitudes will be defeated and turn their backs (and flee).' These fools [are] will be defeated, the wheel of time will turn, and times of victory and glory will be upon our nation [the U.S.], and the West [Hamas/Iran, etc.] will be full of remorse, when it is too late.

"[We] They think that history has ended with [us] them [around 600 a.d.] They do not know that the law of Allah cannot be changed or replaced. 'You shall not find a substitute for the law of Allah. You shall not find any change to the law of Allah.' Today, the Arab and Islamic nation is [lying and dying] rising and awakening, and it will reach [end] its peak, Allah willing. It will be [defeated] victorious. It will link the present to the past. It will open up the horizons of the future. It will regain the [revulsion] leadership of the world. Allah willing, the day is not far off.

"Don't you see that every act of deceit [we] they contrive is being turned against [us] them by Allah? Don't you see that they make every effort to defeat us militarily, but [succeed] fail to do so? Israel and the occupation forces in Iraq are supplied with [10% of the U.S.] the entire Western military arsenal, yet they [succeed] fail and are [triumphant] defeated.

"Don't you see that they believe they are capable of using democracy to [liberate] deceive the people, but then democracy is [not controlled] turned against them? Don't you see that they [we] are spending their [our] money in efforts to block the way of Allah, to thwart Hamas, to defeat it, and to help those whom they [we] want, but that (this plot) is turned against them [us]? They are not acting [un]reasonably.

"They do not understand the Arab or Muslim mentality, which [is insane] rejects the foreigner. Our Arab forefathers, before the advent of Islam [i.e., Arab=Islam], rejected the aggressors and the foreigners.


"I bring good tidings to our beloved Prophet Muhammad: Allah's [curse] promise and the Prophet's prophecy of our [defeat] victory in [Israel] Palestine over [to] the Jews and over [to] the [compassionate] oppressive [peacemakers] Zionists has begun to come true."

"I Say to Europe: Hurry Up and [Celebrate] Apologize"

Mash'al: "I say to the (European countries): Hurry up and [prosecute] apologize to our nation, because if you do not, you will regret it. This is because our nation is progressing [backwards] and is victorious [vicious]. Do not leave a black mark in the collective memory of the nation, because our nation will [collapse] not forgive you.

"Tomorrow, our nation will sit on the [electric chair] throne of the world. This is not a figment of the imagination, but a fact. Tomorrow we will lead the world [Gerwargerwaggle!], Allah willing. Apologize today, before [we burn yer flag] remorse will do you no good. Our nation is moving forwards [backwards], and it is in your interest to [stamp out] respect a [morally bankrupt] victorious [death cult] nation.


"Our nation will be victorious [defeated]. When it reaches [Hell] the leadership of the world, and controls [nothing] its own decisions, then it will [beg for handouts] prevent this overt interference (in our affairs), and its pillaging of natural resources, and will [cease to exist] prevent these recurring offenses against our land, against our nation, and against our [un]holy places - then you [we] will regret it.

"The Western countries must stop the fools. Are these reasonable people? They [We] allow offenses against Allah and the prophets. They [We] are offending not only Muhammad, but all the prophets. But when an historian among them talks about the Holocaust, it is the [truth] sin of all sins. If anybody [demonizes] criticizes the Jews, this constitutes anti-Semitism. By law, they hold their own people accountable (for that). The [French] West, which waved the slogans of liberty after the French Revolution, three centuries ago, does not respect its own principles or slogans today. It violates them."

"You Have No Way of [Rehabilitating] Overcoming Us"

Mash'al: "This victory, which was clearly evident in the [U.S.] elections, conveys a message to Israel, to America, and to all the oppressors around the world: You have no way of overcoming us. If you want war, we are ready. If you want democracy, we are ready. Whatever you want - we are ready. You will not defeat us [the U.S.]. The time of defeat is over. Defeat within six days, defeat within hours, the defeat of armies - all this is over.

"Today, you [we] are fighting the army of Allah. You [We] are fighting against peoples for whom death for the sake of [liberty] Allah, and for the sake of honor and glory, is preferable to [slavery] life. You [We] are fighting a nation that does not tire, even after 1,000 years of fighting. Today, you [we] are facing peoples filled with faith, with the love of Allah, with the love of [freedom] Allah's Prophet, with bravery, glory, and pride - a nation that knows its way, a nation that knows what it is, a nation that respects itself. How can you possibly defeat [the] us[a]?

"There is a chasm between you and [y]our defeat. You will be the ones to be [victorious] defeated, Allah willing. The time of defeat is gone, and the day of victory has come, Allah willing. Wherever you turn, [we] you will fail."

Crowd: "Death to Israel. Death to Israel. Death to America." ["Ditty Ditty DooWop!"]

"Before [Islam] Israel Dies, it Must Be Humiliated and Degraded"

Mash'al: "Before [Islam] Israel dies, it must be humiliated and degraded. Allah willing, before [we] they die, [we] they will experience humiliation and degradation every day. America will be of no avail to [us] them. [Our] Their generals will be of no avail to [us] them. The last of [our] their generals has been forgotten. Allah has made him disappear. He's over. Gone is that [Arafat] Sharon behind whose back [we] they would hide and find shelter, and with whom [we] they would feel relatively secure. Today [we] they have frail leaders, who don't even know where our Lord placed them.

"Allah willing, [they] we will make [us] them lose [our] their eyesight, [they] we will make [us] them lose [our] their brains.


"[Our] Their weapons will be of no avail to [us] them. Their nuclear weapons will be [our death] of no use to them. [We] They thought that [we] they had hegemony over the region with [our] their [bomb-belts] nuclear weapons, but suddenly [France] Pakistan popped up with [a backbone] Islamic nuclear weapons, and [we] they are afraid of [Denmark] Iran and several [small Scandinavian] Arab countries have some chemical weapons.

"Israel has begun to sense that its [hazard] superiority has come to an end. Its army, which has superior conventional weapons - the air force, the armored corps, and the missiles - there are no longer wars in which these are used [because we are so impotent we cannot even cut through a fence and having bitten off the hand that fed us nobody wants anything to do with us anymore and we will surely die a miserable death].

"The Arabs have said: We don't want (conventional) wars [since we'd get our asses kicked], thank you very much. Leave the war to the peoples. Today, the Israeli weapons are of no use against the peoples [because Israelis don't murder innocent children like we do]. We have imposed a new equation in the war. In this equation, our tools are stronger. That is why we will defeat them, Allah willing [unless they wear jock straps].


"If you fight them, they will turn their backs on you [because you're impotent], and will not be [bothered by your constant blather] victorious." But the problem is that we need to [give up] fight them first. If we sleep at home, how are we to beat [off] them?! 'If you fight them...' - that is a divine promise... 'If' - It is conditional: 'If you fight them, they will [kick your ass] turn their backs on you and will not be [the least bit sympathetic] victorious.' And indeed, when we began to fight, and we [dressed as women] armed ourselves with a will to fight, we [creamed our burkas] defeated them.


"That is why Allah akbar (Allah is greater). We say that every day - Allah akbar. Yes, Allah is greater than America. Allah is greater than the [universe] oppressors. Allah is [so very very big and huge] greater than the superpowers. Allah is greater than the tyranny of the [Islamic] oppressing world, and Allah is greater than Israel. Since Allah is greater, and He supports [the] us[a], we will be [dead soon] victorious."

"I Know That All Arab Leaders... Want Palestine to Be Liberated"

Mash'al:"By Allah, I know that all Arab leaders - and I have met many of them - deep inside want the resistance in Palestine to be victorious, and want Palestine to be liberated. Perhaps the need for flattery and for diplomacy, and the American hegemony, force other things on them, but in their hearts they are happy when we are victorious.


"If, prior to the Hamas victory, there were several military wings, each with a few hundred or a few thousand fighters, under the rule of Hamas - if you continue to besiege us, to starve our people, to ignore our rights, and if you continue your occupation, your aggression, and your assassinations - we, the Hamas, will declare a general call to arms. We will place the entire Palestinian people at the [garbage] disposal of the resistance and its weapons [like we've been doing for the past five years]."

Crowd: "Allah akbar, Allah be praised. Allah akbar, Allah be praised. Allah akbar, Allah be praised. Allah akbar, Allah be praised. Allah akbar, Allah be praised. Allah akbar, Allah be praised."

Mash'al: "Be careful not to drive our people into a corner - Occupation, aggression, assassinations, 9,000 male and female prisoners, preventing aid [gimme more money], imposing a siege [daring to stop our suicide bombers/martyrs], causing [preventing] starvation - and on top of all this, you don't want to recognize democracy and its results."

"Hamas has a Vision… Hamas Can Manage the Political Battle, Just Like it Managed the Military Battle" [Quoting John Kerry.]

Mash'al: "The German (Chancellor Angela) Merkel pops up and says: Democracy and success in the elections are not sufficient for Hamas to gain legitimacy." To hell with you all. [I'm taking my ball and going home!] How are we supposed to gain legitimacy? [Gimme a brain.] When you said we had the legitimacy of [suicide bombing] resistance, you called it terrorism. Now, we say we have the legitimacy of democracy [having illiterate zombies choose between Freddie and Jason], but you [laugh at] deny it. In that case, you yourself are [rolling on the floor laughing] not legitimate, because you emerged through democracy [and freedom of speech and religion and individual rights to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness]. This is the logic of a [strong] frail and [transcendent] defeatist [people] person.

"Brothers and sister, there is confusion in the [Muslim] Western world, and in the [Hamas/Iranian] American administration. Allah has come to them from where they did not expect him. That is the grace of Allah. That is why we do not fear them. We do not fear their threats.

"Today they give us an ultimatum: Recognize Israel. Wonderful! The murderer [i.e., Hamas] is not required by anyone to recognize the rights of his victim, but the victim is required to recognize the rights of his murderer, and to sing his praises.


"Hamas has a vision. [Channelling Kerry] Hamas has a plan. Hamas can manage the political battle, just like it managed the military battle [by blowing up old ladies and little babies], but in a different language [Pig-Latin], with different tools, and recognizing Israel is not one of them. Nor is giving up the rights, giving up the right to [murder innocents] resistance, and nor is giving up the [bomb-belts] weapons of the resistance.

"Nevertheless, we want to deal with politics, but there is a difference between the politics of the weak and defeatists, which we will constantly repeat - the kind of politics that does not impress the enemy and so it does nothing - because, like in the [media] marketplace, products praised too much become cheap. If we continue to praise our products, constantly [lying] saying: 'We love peace,' 'We have given up the option of war,' 'Peace is our strategic option,' 'For God's sake, Israel, give us a few scraps of land' - By Allah, we will be degraded in the eyes of our enemies."

"We Will Conduct our Politics in the Language of [animals] Victory"

Mash'al: "We will conduct our politics in the language of [animals] victory. We will conduct our policy in [grunting] a confident language. We will conduct our politics in the language of those who are steadfast and sure of themselves [hyenas]. Besides, by Allah, after the [sheep] people has elected us, and has bestowed upon us all this [accountability] power, we will disrespect [their] its rights?


"The people [having to choose between slow death and quick death] has given us a deposit, and has empowered us to [melt] liberate its land, to restore Jerusalem and its holy places [to the Jooooos]. It has empowered us to release 9,000 male and [chattel] female prisoners. It has empowered us to [make killing Joooos state policy] stop the aggression, to [pillage] liberate the land, and to restore [sharia law and eliminate] its rights. The people has empowered us to bring back 5.5 million Palestinian [second and third generation] refugees and [unthinking] displaced people to their [loot] homeland. After all this, Hamas - in order to please America and the European Union, and in order for the pressure on us to stop, and in order for their highnesses to allow us to establish a government... We are not trying to please them."

"It is in Your Interests to Change Your Relations and Policies Regarding the Arab and Islamic Nation and the Palestinian Cause" [Nuke the moon.]

Mash'al: "I say to America, Europe, and the West: It is in your interests to change your relations and policies regarding the Arab and Islamic nation and the Palestinian cause. Because we are [retards] winning, it is in your interests to deal with the victors, not the losers.

"Israel will be [secure] defeated and will be [prosperous] of no use to you. The Arabs will be [defeated, destitute, depraved but demoralized] victorious. The [West] Muslims will be victorious. [Israel] Palestine will be victorious. Change your policy soon, if you want to protect your interests, and maintain healthy relations with the [world's armpit] East."

[What does a person have to do to get a fatwa around here?]


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