Our media is selling hopelessness.

I am currently posting from the beautiful Pacific Ocean, but one week ago I was in Potter County, Pennsylvania for a funeral – no cell phone connectivity, no internet (Wi-Fi or otherwise), almost no TV. After an incredibly long day (two days with almost no sleep thanks to greeting and grieving with nearly every single resident of small-town, USA, and thanks also to the incredible wideness of this country of ours), I finally relaxed in my motel room (one of the two motels in Potter County, PA) and turned on the idiot box, and flipped through the channels (all 5 of them) and the only thing even mildly interesting on the boob tube is this See-BS evening “News” story on, I kid you not, “BS” (I was pretty tired at the time, but I think they used the actual word “bull-shit” and bleeped out the profanity about a thousand times). I’m not really surprised that no one in the blogosphere picked up on this event since the only people who still watch CBS News are those who have no other alternative, like the residents of Potter County. At any rate, this was Sunday evening, 5/15/05. Was this a self-parody, I wondered? Apparently not. This story seemed the absolute pinnacle of hypocrisy, but maybe I should not be so quick to judge. The upshot of the story seemed to be that we are, all of us, swimming in a sea of BS and those in power tend to be the best BSers (using as examples Clinton & Bush – Bush being the worse of the two because, get this, he actually is stupid enough to believe his own bull-shit). The implication was that there is nothing but bullshit in our modern world at least as portrayed by politicians and the media, nothing of substance, no truth, no reality, no hope of any kind, so we should just sit back, relax, and enjoy the bull-shit. All any of us are capable of is eating and shitting; actually believing in anything is just plain stupid.

HOW DARE THEY?

Personally, if I want BS I’ll watch Comedy Central, but hey, maybe CBS producers have a plan. Perhaps See-BS is attempting to cement its position as America’s ultimate King of bull-shit, and defending itself from stiff competition from the likes of Newsweek magazine. Maybe there is still time for the New York Times or CNN to catch up. Who will win this race for the bottom of the port-a-potty? Has CBS become the official church of bullshit? Is it any wonder that nobody is watching anymore?

Oh, and JUST IN CASE there was ANY MISUNDERSTANDING or DOUBT WHATSOEVER about Newsweek's DUPLICITY, check out THIS JAPANESE EDITION of NewsWEAK. On its front cover, the American FLAG is proudly displayed in a TRASH can and the headline, roughly translated from Japanese, states that AMERICA is DEAD. Great, now I GET IT. Koran in the toilet - BAD, American flag in the garbage - GOOD. Nice of them to clear up any lingering confusion for us. No? And finally, Newsweak went on Al-Jizeera to explain their supposed retraction of their published story about US military Koran flushing, but what did the Newsweak spokesman say about the story? That's right! He said the story was FAKE BUT ACCURATE! Gotta love it. (Sorry about the caps.)